“That’s a terrible way to have to go through life” he said to me. “I know,” I replied, “I’m the one who’s going though life like that.”

He said he refused to be afraid. I said every time I leave the house I break out in hives.

The world is made of egg shells and I am too old, large, and arthritic to keep pretending I’m okay with being up on my tip-toes.

I’m using word prompts from The Daily Post as a focal point when I sit down to write these Litterbox Riot Blog entries. I think it makes me feel like I’m not just prattling on incessantly, but I’m also participating in a group activity. I count it as social interaction. Same goes for doing the NanoPoblano thing – it’s essentially like being out in a trendy Manhattan shopping plaza where I’ve found the oldest, darkest bar to sit in and take notes as I watch the melting-pot bubble. It’s LIKE that, but without the actual threat of being randomly murdered. (Or at least a far less of one.)

I’m writing this post on Monday November 6th. I’m scheduling it to be published on Thursday the 9th. I’m trying to get a few days ahead because November is turning out to be a busy month (personally), but I really want to stick with the practice of writing every day. So, my prompted pieces are going to be published days after they’re given, and my reactions to current events, though written in the moment, will be shared after some time has passed.

So… yeah…  a manic, ex-Air Force atheist committed an unthinkable act of violence. As a manic, ex-Air Force atheist, I think I have a deeper understanding of what it’s like to be a brown in America. Folks sure do love to aim their hate at something. And atheists are also great targets. The angrier a believer gets at atheists, the deeper their fear, insecurity, and unwillingness to think critically. People who are secure don’t have to get pissed off. People who are confident are not threatened by the thoughts of others.

But then… there’s the mental defectives…

Looks like I picked the wrong month to start writing about my manic depression.

One of the most common stereotyping misconceptions I see right-wingers make is in thinking all liberals hate guns. Au contraire, mes amis... this is not a fact. What we hate is when emotionally unfit domestic abusers who have served jail or prison time are allowed to have guns. (Though most of us do think the NRA is a domestic terrorist organization.) What we hate are *unreasonable, greedy, right-wing fuckheads.

(*personal commentary)

Over the last, oohhh year-and-a-half or so, seems like everyone has become an expert on mental health problems – not only who has them, but also what should be done with them, and how few rights they should have… and what pisses me off most is how I never see my news feed full of stories about what doctor-prescribed medication these mentally-unstable news-makers are (or in most cases were) taking. What’s in their bloodstreams?  Nor is anyone talking about who prescribed those drugs, or what the drug companies have to say about it.  What if there needs to be a drug recall? How many medications have side effects which include depression and/or suicidal thoughts? Irritability? Memory loss? Confusion?   And I would, in particular, like to know how marijuana could have been prescribed instead and had different results. Why don’t we have mental health check-ins like we have probation check-ins?  HOW DID MORE THAN 80 DOMESTICALLY ABUSIVE MEN SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS, AND COMMIT MASS SHOOTINGS BETWEEN 2009 AND 2016??? I mean, not for nothing, but I’m of the opinion that’s not entirely a gun or a mental health problem — it’s a system problem. The system is fucked up. THE SYSTEM NEEDS TO BE FIXED.

And you can’t fix something until you find out why it’s broken.

And you can’t find out why something it broken until you stop trying to place blame and start looking for workable solutions.

Pointing finders doesn’t fix problems — footwork does.

Egg shells… they also make good fertilizer.



Consider this my Litterbox contribution regarding current events. I guess I should be glad I wasn’t the manic, ex-Air Force atheist in the headlines.

Sincerest sympathies to Sutherland Springs.

nov 9 - egg




4 thoughts on “egg

Add yours

  1. I live in one of those countries where it’s hard to buy a gun. I’m so NOT used to them that I get scared when I see one, even when it’s a cop or a military person carrying one outside a holster.

    Keep writing! I’ll keep reading.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As a fellow atheist myself, I love the incredulous look on peoples faces when I say what I am and they respond with, “What? You don’t believe in god?” and I respond with, “Not since I was six.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had a lovelt conversation once with a dear older Irish Catholic woman once who, when I told her I was an atheist, said, “But, I mean, you must believe something is up there, or else why would you be good?” Aside from what that actually says about her, I told her, “Well, I’m ‘good’ because to have a functioning society, we have to have to be civil to one another and live by an unspoken agreement of mutual non-harm.” To which she replied, “Yeah, well there’s that.”

      Liked by 1 person

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